Go slow!!

Octopus with hir hands full. The most gentle depiction I’ve seen of the eight of swords. A tarot card usually associated with standstill, paralysis, mental confusion and feeling caught in a situation.

A friend on social media was offering to draw single cards for people, no interpretation and as a fun sharing. This is the card I was given, we both laughed as Octopus is shown with a quill pen in each tentacle, and I am a writer. I also looked at this card and saw my own tendency to try to do too many things at once and to generate 8 new ideas from each one I have.

At this point in time rather than rushing ahead, I am trying to take a step back. I apologise if I don’t catch every message, I am dealing with the basics, to the best of my ability to make sure I have some kind of income, remain housed, have utilities. I see a lot of people busy putting their work online, offering courses and so on… maybe I will get there. In the day to day I do a lot of online meetings to continue to be part of a recovery movement. I make a lot of calls either for work or to socialise. I started to do some gentle exercise indoors and hope to build up my fitness. I organise a small improvised kitchen for myself.

Yes, I have started to make a new film, I started that before C-19 really hit and it is cool to have a purely non-work related creative project. I continue to try to find money for several projects I had underway: a book, a tour for the ‘Resilient and Resisting’ project and another social history collaboration based in the kink community. I have to laugh that this is my idea of paring back!! I spend a LOT of time resting, letting myself do it, trying to get a sense of how I am. I know I have been tired, burned out beyond burn out many times over. In Austerity Britain there have not been many choices about stopping because we were done. I feel very fortunate that how every meagrely and precariously I CAN STOP or at least slow down.

Here I am, trying not to rush ahead, or even to ‘keep up’ anymore. I wanted to share this image of wildly over busy Octopussy and talk about taking a step back. I would also like to send loads of love to the all frontliners who are out there ……where I am not…..including my FAV CHECK OUT CHICK, who is a champion!! 💞💗💞💗💞

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